[CLOSED] The Great-Big Event Post - JOKE EDITION!

Greetings everyone! I hope you're enjoying our new forums so far, yes? Yes.

Well I've been put in charge of a special something. Guild Events.

"What are Guild Events?" - Guild Events are special games played either here on the forums, or in Eden Eternal. They are not related to the official server events and only members of Genesis can join in on the festivities unless permitted, or necessary.

"What are some Guild Events? I want examples!" - Well I don't exactly know yet, but some that will probably be used one or more times will be things such as....
٭Hide and Seek - Me, Angelo, or Ryozashi will hide somewhere in the world of Eden Eternal, and the first person to find us, wins!
٭Team Raids - Teams of 3 will apply to take part in a timed event. At a scheduled time, each team will enter a dungeon, and have to complete it from start to finish as fast as possible. Fastest time wins!
٭World of Colour - This is a simple, forum-based art contest. I will supply a theme, and anyone interested in participating, will submit all entries in before the given date.

"What will the prizes be!?" Well the prizes are supposed to be a surprise! Though my sources tell me that they could range from anything between gold, upgraded weapons and armor, a spot on one of our exclusive raid and Guild War teams, and maybe... get this.... a statue of you set up in our guild town until the next event! Exciting isn't it?

Be sure to check in every once-in-a-while to touch-up on event info. The next event could be your big break!

٭ Note: Event difficulty varies as well as prizes. If you win, don't complain because you didn't get the prize you wanted. I will take it right back and give it to second place.....



If you would like to submit an idea for an up-and-coming event, consult this thread;
Event Request Thread

WINNERS OF THE PREVIOUS EVENT ARE AS FOLLOWS:

1st place: Dakutsuki

2nd place: ChilledDarkness

3rd place: Sayu.

Congrats to Dak, and a huge thanks to everyone who participated~

So my friend and I stopped at WaWa in the morning after classes ended. My friend went up to the register to ring up and heres how the conversation started.

Female Employee: Would you like to donate 1$ to children's diabetes?
Cj: No
Female Employee: Huh?
Cj: Yes!

It was funny cuz the employee didn't hear what my friend said and my friend thought she was mad at him so he replied yes frantically.

NO I WONT POST MY OWN JOKES.
I'M NOT FUNNY.
THIS IS WHY YOU ARE DOING THIS.
NOT ME.

Four CEO's of a few beer company's go into a bar. they're from Budweiser, Miller, Sam Adams and Guinness.
They order food and when the waitress asks what they want to drink the CEO's from bud, millers and sam adams order a beer from they're company. But the Guinness CEO orders a water. The other CEO's are like "we all got beer from our company's why aren't you?". He responds " If your all drinking water so am I".

I am going to refrain myself from this contest. My jokes are too powerful for mortal eyes to read.

one day a kids comes up to me and asks " what happens once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in a thousand years? " I say "I don't know, tell me,!". then the kids says " The letter M... you get it?!?".

I don't explain jokes so good...

this is one of my favourite jokes. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
hahahahhaahahaha lol I'm so lame

Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.

the chuck norris joke was mine, i didnt know that i need to sign in

Chuck Norris peeled a knife with an apple.

finaly i managed to sign up, uh I got a bit carried away. XD

THIS IS NOT A CHUCK NORIS THREAD. CHUCK NORIS JOKES ARE AUTOMATICALY REJECTED.

I KILLED HIM.

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

A kindergarten teacher at age 30 was talking to the children seated on the floor around her, absentmindedly she removed her glasses to clean them.

"Wow, Miss Collins!" one child exclaimed. "You look really different without your glasses on !"

Another child piped up, "I bet she looks different when she takes her teeth out, too!"

Menstruation jokes are the lowest brand of humor. Period.

What's a bear without teeth? A gummy bear.

And lemme think of a third one...

gnawid wrote:

Menstruation jokes are the lowest brand of humor. Period.

What's a bear without teeth? A gummy bear.

And lemme think of a third one...

I loled.

I lay on bed looking up at the starry night sky. Then I thought, WHERE THE HECK IS THE CEILING?!?!?!?!?

Hear about the flasher who was thinking about retiring?
He decided to stick it out a little longer.

This morning I woke up, went for a piss and got out of bed.
Something went wrong there.

EVENT UPDATE:

Keep posting jokes people! Entries must be submitted by May 5th. Voting will start ont he 6th. i'm picking the top 3 jokes as picked by the people. This means you should comment on other peoples jokes as well as giving us your best.

Knock my socks off people!

A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is killing his family.

ok, so why Did the group of girls cross the road?? give up?! To get to me! Get it?? Cuz im like, super awsome n junk!

ok ok seriously now...

So my wife was nagging me about a gift for our Anaversury. She said she wanted something shiny that went from 0-200 in 3 seconds flat... so I bought her a scale... then the fight started >_>

Nicole (black girl) : omgg why did the civil war have to happen? It'd be one less thing to study.
Ashely : nicole......it was to free the slaves....

A guy needed a horse, so he went to a temple and got one. Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. In order for it to go, you said 'thank god' and for it to stop you said 'amen'. So the guy went, and a few minutes later he dozed off on his horse.
A few hours later, he woke up and was going off the edge of a cliff. So he shouted 'Amen!' and the horse stopped a few inches from the edge...
'Whew,' he said. 'Thank god.'


Ten Top Reasons Computers Are Male

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny, until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say, if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter.

So incredibly old but...


So theres this bar at the top of a sky scraper. A man is sitting at the bar drinking a beer. A woman approaches the man.

She asks "What kind of drink is that?"
He says back, "This is a magic beer."
She responds "There is no such thing as a magic beer, you're full of it."

without responding, the man finishes the beer in one breath and jumps out of the window and flies around the building and back into the window.

The woman orders, "One magic beer please!"

She drinks the whole thing and then jumps out the window, right onto the pavement.

The bartender looks at the man and says, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman.

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."